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I personally feel you should let him know the truth, about how we were together. As you've told me, honesty is the best policy and that's what a relationship should be built upon. I know you're afraid he'd feel bad and all, but I believe what's most important is that he knows the truth, you're honest with him. I'm sure he'll get it and understand you did it because you care for him and also that you treasure him in your life to do it. I don't know him well but I know he's able to do that because of his love for you. Despite how you don't want to tell me you do feel happy with him, I know you are. Because you've told people about the relationship and I know how much you care for him. Knowing you, if you aren't sure of the relationship, you wouldn't tell people of it, furthermore, taking into consideration that he's not local and you've barely been together with him. It really does say a lot. So despite all that you've told me, I know how you feel deep down inside. You don't want to hurt me anymore, but you know deep down he's a better choice for you than me. It hurts, the truth hurts and I'll be honest, I'm facing difficulties accepting it. My heart physically and emotionally hurts when I think about how you've chosen him and how much more committed you are to him than you were with me despite of your love for me. I know you're more committed to him, from your actions like when I wanted to hug you to sleep for the last time, and from the ring you wore on the day I saw you at the traffic light. What I feel, is not a feeling of betrayal, but pure pain. I know pain encompasses betrayal, but in this context, I never saw it that way, because I understood that feelings played a big role and it cannot be explained. That said, I know all these feelings I have for you don't matter anymore because we'll never be together. The relationship fell apart when you stopped being brave for us, when you felt you wouldn't be able to accept a girl-girl relationship anymore. That, I feel, stems from your faith and what it has taught you. I'm not condemning it or anything, everyone has a choice on what they want to believe in and I respect it. The point is, faith stems from belief, and beliefs, as you would know, is hard to change. In a way, they are who we are and we act and behave based on our beliefs. So, I don't really blame you for anything. I was just hurt and heartbroken at the choices you made, and this pain, I choose to go through everyday. I don't know why still, but possibly, it's because that's my last memory of you and I don't want to forget you as much as I know I have to, in order to move on. Everyday there's a war between my head and heart, and I know I'll keep putting myself through the hurt till I cave in for good.
You told me yesterday that mandarin songs convey more emotions than English ones, I agree, but there are many English ones that convey a lot of meaning too - Kodaline and Adele's songs are 2 very good examples and that's why I love them.