To be honest, I had cold feet the night before. I didn't know what to expect during the trip, would I be a good enough travel partner; Would I upset you with my behaviour or actions? Have I got all the grounds covered in terms of travel transitions, etc. It was also the first trip I took with someone else, apart from my family, just after ending my previous r/s. From the latter, I grew to be more aware or possibly, paranoid about certain things when travelling.

Now that our 8D7N journey has ended, I'm more confident than ever in my thoughts and what I want in life. You brought all these thoughts and emotions about during the journey. I had them in me and I just really didn't know how to approach/tackle them because I was in a deep, dark,messy hole down there, almost going way too off track with my thoughts. With your perspective, certain things became clearer and I cannot be more grateful for that. I somehow feel more willing than ever to be accepting of my past r/s, and embracing the fact that she just wasnt the right person. And of course, as I've always felt, that it was a learning journey I had to take and no doubt was it fruitful; in the sense that I grew as a person.

I also saw in you some qualities that I know I need in a life partner. Being the calm in the chaos, or more like being my calm in the chaos, is one example of what I need. Despite verbalising that "I 'hate' to say you're someone I have a lot of respect for", deep down, please know what I wanted to say was "You're one of the most beautiful person I know, so deep and insightful, yet so loving and understanding. And I do, indeed, have a lot of respect for you." Despite the "age difference" (months actually), you're someone so full of wisdom, so self-ware, self-assured... someone I look up to. Needless to say, you are almost perfection to me, inside out.

My previous paragraph reflects my love for you, not in a proper kind of relationship way but as a friend. Obviously if I could take it further, I would but I know I'm not the right person for you. And with that, I rest my case.

This sounds like a confessional post but its not, its more about the insights that were triggered in me, to think more about the person I want to be, and the person I need in my life.

On the professional end, I just felt all the talks we had made me more driven to want to do well in what I do, to put in effort in honing my craft and not spend evenings just sitting down and watching Netflix. I could read book, or paint, enrich myself in some way or do some work. I hope I remain motivated throughout the year to strive to be better.

So that said, Thank You, Thank You for one of the best trips I took despite not seeing all the places of interest in a location (I usually do but somehow, during this trip, I didn't feel like I needed to). I guess the company really matters in a trip.

X.